I’m trying hard to make ends meet.
You know what that means no name brand food
No new clothes
Its been a stretch
This morning I fished all the change out of the couch cushions pumping $5.26 of the cheapest gas I could find into the reason I am so poor in the first place.
You know this guy shuffles out from behind the gas station and goes
“Yo, yo, yo, yo you got $5 bucks so I can get something to eat?”
And his crusty hand is out reaching for the cash a soft mark like me is surely going to give him.
And I am like, “Dude I am really sorry but I am totally flat broke.”
I don’t want to make eye contact, because if you make eye contact with them, they use that against you.
They turn on that extra kicked puppy look to convey their sincerity, and to play on your sympathies even more.
Normally I don’t mind giving out a dollar or 2, but today I just don’t have it.
“that’s crap lady, just look at the car you drive, the clothes you wear, you have the money you just don’t want to give it to me do you Biiiiiittttttcccc….”
Its like GOD in that moment reached down and pressed the pause button of my life, righteous indignation back flooded in my throat as my brain kicked into overdrive. And I am just standing there shaking my head, totally unbelieving of what is going on in my world right now.
And I’m like
“What? Hey! Who are you to dictate to me…..
I’m sorry did you bust your butt at my job today?
I don’t think so. But you are so right baby I don’t want to give you my money even if I did have any, you see I work very hard for what little I get.
I am treading the financial waters like crazy and I am trying not to drown in my own debt.
But that’s not the point.
You didn’t ask, you demanded, so it makes me even less likely to contribute to your habit.
What is it any way? Crack?
You look like a crack addict but you are pretty grungy and smell like a manure truck so it’s a good possibility that you are just a garden variety wino.
But on the occasion that I meet one they are usually much nicer.
So no I don’t want to support your habit.
Today, tomorrow or ever. And please step downwind, your BO is making me more than a little woozy.”
Ok…ok…ok…. that’s what I wanted to say.
The guy had stomped off long ago leaving me babbling animatedly to my self like an idiot having a one way conversation with the gas pump as the numbers tick off on the screen. Growing higher and higher. “oh no, oh no, oh no!!!” oh man its now past 10 bucks and I only have $5.26……
so putting on my best kicked puppy look and batting my eye lashes I turned to the guy next to me at the pump to see if he can spare a few dollars… all the while being very careful to maintain eye contact.
